Self confidence/ self esteem

"If only I were successful, rich, famous, beautiful, slim, fit... than I would have high self-esteem," reflects a common and, it turns out, false idea. Wealth and a solid self-esteem may coincide, but there is only a tenuous link between them. Self-esteem that is based on external conditions is prone to crumble when those conditions subside. In fact, you can point to people who manifest any or even all of the factors mentioned above and you will nonetheless find a considerable amount of people with low self-esteem among them. A long-term, healthy self-esteem should not be conditional and depend on external factors. Conditional self-esteem is like paying with Monopoly money. One day you'll be busted.

Myth #2: Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves

"Change the way you think about yourself and you change your self-esteem." That motto seems to be the governing rule of most of the books about self-esteem. Although partly true there is more to it than meets the eye. The findings of depth psychology show that there are underlying, unconscious motives that are able to move us in mysterious ways, thus damaging our self-esteem. But those motives have nothing to do with what we think about ourselves. If we don't make ourselves conscious of them and alter them, working with thoughts and beliefs will be fruitless and undermined.

Myth #3: Healing low self-esteem necessitates digging in the past

"To understand the root of your problems you have to investigate the past." This is probably the most common myth relating to self-esteem It stems from the classical setting of Sigmund Freud, according to which you have to lie down and talk ( and talk and talk) about your past. The idea behind it is that once you know what happened in your past, you are cured. That myth is fostered by popular culture. Just think of the movies by Alfred Hitchcock or Woody Allen: After painfully scrutinizing her life, all of a sudden, the heroine realizes why she is afraid of thunderstorms and the color green, curing her miraculously of that dreadful diarrhea due to eating cucumber amidst severe weather.

Sadly, for the loss of time (Woody Allen spent 30 years undergoing psychoanalysis. Ask him, if he feels any better.) and money, under??standing the past only rarely helps to heal a damaged self-esteem. Besides factors that are constitutional, like temperament or a proneness to anxiety, it is the specific lessons we draw from an experiences of the past that are of crucial importance. If you want to overcome low self-esteem, you have to tackle those inhibiting conclusions and their ensuing consequences.                         

Imagine if you were surrounded by people who told you that you were useless and a loser all the time. Sooner or later you would believe them, right? Those are negative affirmations for self esteem and are also what most of us give ourselves every day. But if you were surrounded by people who thought that you would be successful and had complete faith in every decision you made, then you should rightly believe that you would be far more successful, right?

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations for self esteem are extremely powerful. A scared child standing on the side of the pool will not jump in until she is told time and time again that she can do it. She eventually believes this and gives it a try. You need to be able to give yourself positive affirmations for self esteem in all parts of your life on a regular basis, if only to combat all of the negativity that is around you.

You can use these kinds of affirmations in every area of your life, by talking yourself into a healthier body, a better job, or a more fulfilling relationship. By continuing to tell yourself that you can do something and that you deserve better than what you currently have, you will have a much better chance of getting it. This obviously doesn't happen overnight, but with practice and persistence, you will see how a positive attitude and outlook can make a difference in your life.

Your Entire Life

Most affirmations are based on one of four different areas of your life - career, relationships, money, and health and fitness. The truth is that people who are successful in one area are often successful in others, simply because they think that they can be. They transfer the good self esteem from their career into feeling that they can also get in shape and make more money. Before long, their affirmations are self-fulfilling.

Create Your Own Affirmations

You won't find a book of affirmations for self esteem because every person has their own individual issue. You may want to tell yourself that today you will be powerful or stand up for yourself, or that today you can resist eating bad foods. You will first have to identify what you want to change in your life, and then create affirmations that help you to change that.

 Be Your Own Best Cheerleader

Imagine if every time you walked into work you got a full round of applause, or when you went to the gym, the people at the front desk all told you how proud they were of you. Those affirmations for self esteem would really mean something. Unfortunately, few of us get a round of applause at work, so it is up to you to be your own best cheerleader. Look at yourself in the mirror each night and tell yourself how great you were that day, what you did to achieve your goals, and how you are going to expand on your achievements tomorrow.

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